Cut the Rejection

Rejection = Cut them off … IMMEDIATELY!

How toxic is that right?

That’s exactly what the Lord told me I have a tendency to do. 

Whenever someone rejects me, I immediately cut them off. I’m talking about deleting phone numbers, unfollowing on social media, and sometimes I’ll keep following them but just mute their stories and posts. 

That’s how Tenia has historically dealt with rejection until this very moment when the Lord told me that it’s an immature coping mechanism. It’s my way of dealing with rejection on my own terms, in my own strength. 

I’m not actually processing the rejection in the correct way though – with the Lord. I’m spiraling in my thoughts, I’m second-guessing myself, I’m overanalyzing my every move, every thought, and conversation I’ve had. I’m trying to figure out what led me here, what part I played, and the list goes on and on. But, never once did I stop to ask the Lord to help me process the rejection, to reveal to me what it is that he wants me to see in it. I’ve heard the phrase “Man’s rejection is God’s protection.” And I’ve wrestled with that phase for such a long time. I’ve asked myself why would anyone want to reject me? What could I have possibly done … thinking it will always be something I’ve done in my own strength instead of considering that the Lord could have very well orchestrated the entire thing. I try to remain as humble as possible in my relationships and friendships. Of course, I’m not perfect and I’ve got my flaws, though I do try my best to be a good and decent person. But there are also moments where I let my emotions take the lead and I just follow behind … dragging me along and I go willingly. 

Rejection has dragged me along and I went willingly. 

In the natural it looks like rejection, it feels like rejection - but in the spirit, it truly is protection. God knows something that I can’t see, better it be now and lessen the pain than later and I have a much harder time coping. 

But as I write this … I truly believe the Lord wants to free me from rejection and that He wants to heal every hurt place within me that kept rejection on a ball and chain.

Rejection was something I rehearsed.

Rejection was something I clinged to, like how my boys cling to me at times. 

My most recent encounter with rejection I tried to cut off with a quickness, but the Lord would not let me. I’ve had to sit in the rejection and allow Him to deal with me and all my feelings about it. I want my grief to be quick because I don’t want to give it more space in my mind than necessary, but here I go again trying to cope on my terms - without the Lord. So the by-product of me sitting in this rejection was this writing. The rejection was deeper than I realized and the uprooting does not feel good, but I’m going to make the choice to remain in this uncomfortable place while the Lord does what He best.

Psalms 34:18, NIV says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in the spirit.”

Rejection has always felt like my heart was breaking.

The Passion Translation of this verse says, “The Lord is close to all whose hearts are crushed by pain, and he is always ready to restore the repentant one.” So that means in order for the Lord to save me, to restore me - I need to repent. I need to repent for cutting people off quicker than I was supposed to. I need to repent for not trusting the Lord to take care of my broken heart. I need to repent for allowing my emotions to lead instead of letting the Holy Spirit lead. I need to repent for allowing unforgiveness to take root in my heart. I need to repent for not sitting with the Lord long enough so that He can help me process the rejection HIS WAY. 

After all, His way is ALWAYS better.