When Patience Feels Inconvenient

How do you pray for patience … but then rush the growing and cultivation of it? Can somebody make it make sense? This is a question that needs some answers - “Father, can you hear me?” 😂

I saw this clip from (& I can’t remember the celebrity who said it), but it said that God doesn’t give you patience when you ask for it; He gives you scenarios and situations to exercise it.

I’m also aware that patience is one of the Fruit of the Spirit that still needs some work in me.

This particular blog post stems from what I experienced tonight with my family. I felt so burdened by it, and I felt like the Lord wanted to deal with me about it, seemingly by way of the blog. So boom! I had a personal standing meeting that was scheduled for tonight at 8:15 pm, and this is 15 minutes after the bedtime routine starts for our boys. I was doing this routine by myself tonight, and was legit rushing through it, and on top of it, I had to put new sheets on Tristan’s (our oldest son) bed. That honestly took me over the top in rushing the patience that I thought I had. When it was time to read to Tristan (we read a book every night), I could feel the Lord telling me to SLOW DOWN! Because I was trying to rush a whole moment out of selfish motives. I was trying to rush a whole moment for what I wanted, not realizing that there was something that my son needed from me. Even in our conversation before reading, I felt myself getting flustered and just rushing it through, not taking the time to hear what he was trying to communicate to me.

I just felt super heavy after the whole ordeal, and I knew that I just needed to breathe and let the Lord breathe on me even more. I often feel that I rush things when it comes to my kids, and I know that’s not fair to them or myself. Yes, God knew that I wouldn’t always get it right with him, but that’s the beauty of the sanctification of parenthood/motherhood. If I’m keeping it a buck + fifty, motherhood can be an inconvenience in itself, but it’s something that isn’t talked about enough and could even leave traces of mom guilt for feeling this way. Sometimes I just find myself “going through the motions” with both of my boys because I’m looking for the convenience in it. So yes, tonight, I absolutely felt the weight of rushing the bedtime routine, and it did not feel good at all. However, I refuse to allow guilt and shame - mom guilt specifically- to keep me in my head about it. And I thank the Lord in his kindness for bringing it to my attention, and I know it is something that I need to partner with Him in to work on it.

We rush God, too! We try to move faster than God because it’s convenient!!! We want it done OUR WAY, the fast way, the quick way. And of course, our way only works for so long, and I believe God designed it that way on purpose. He knows we are needy people and, unfortunately, all roads point back to Him when we reach the end of ourselves. Oh, how much sweeter it would be if we didn’t allow ourselves to get to that point. How about we just ask the Lord to grow us in this area of patience, ask that he would continue to partner with us in this area, in the way that only He knows how to.

Could our rushing patience also be a trust and control issue? When we control it, we’re in charge (or so we think) of how fast or slow we can go, but when we rush it, that’s when we tend to miss all the details in between. We tend to miss the message that God is trying to convey to us or what he’s trying to show us - even build up in us.

Slowing down takes intentionality.

I sincerely pray that the Lord will continue to highlight those moments to me when I’m rushing through something, whether it's the morning and night routine with my boys, something related to my job, or even just a conversation. I pray that the Lord would continue to nudge me in those moments to slow down, that I recognize what the nudge is and quickly change my posture and mindset. Sometimes my mind races with a million and one things, I think that too causes me to rush through things because I’m thinking about what comes next or what’s about to happen. I can be better at being present in the moment, because once those moments are gone, they’re gone. Life is fleeting, time is fleeting, and these are moments we don’t get back.

Better it be slow, than quick.