Pleasing Who Exactly?

People pleasing is exhausting. It’s something that takes work to rid yourself of, if you really want to.

For me, people pleasing manifests as a fear of what others may think about me, which is evident in overanalyzing my every move and intention to ensure they align with how people perceive me. It shows up in me over-apologizing about everything, too.

Why do I feel like I have to prove myself to people? Why do I feel like I have to prove myself to gain affirmation and recognition from people?

And I know all of this is rooted in how I perceive myself and my self-worth.

I mean, I could sit here and talk about the lengths that I have gone to prove my worth and to gain recognition. But the real question is WHY?

Furthermore, why people?

Why do I place so much emphasis on what people think of me vs. what God thinks about me?

Why is it that his affirmation and being pleased by what I do, what I say, and how I live my life not enough? Is His word not affirming enough for me? Is it because the words from people are much quicker and more easily accessible to me? I can literally send a text to someone asking how they feel about me, etc., and I know I’ll get an answer. Whereas in asking God that same question, the answer may not come right then and there. It’s a patience issue with Him.

It’s rooted in my need for people to feel that I bring something valuable to conversations, relationships, and just life in general. That I am smart and knowledgeable enough to insert my opinion on different issues and topics. That I can provide a level of insight or opinion if given the opportunity. But even this, at times, feels like a desperate attempt and need to be seen - and that doesn’t always come from a genuine and pure place, because now I’m striving for something that was never meant to be strived for in the first place - approval of man.

In Galatians 1:10, Paul says, “For am I now trying to persuade people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Because what? You can’t serve two masters - People and God, you have to choose. People pleasing is a choice. If I decided to ultimately serve people by way of doing what is pleasing and acceptable to them, where does that leave God in that? Nowhere at all.

The thing is, the gratification from people is temporary and fleeting … it never truly lasts. But the thing that lasts forever is what God thinks of me and what God’s word says to be true about me. My identity and self-worth can’t be wrapped up in what people think of me because now I’ve given all the power away to people who are going to disappoint me every time. I’ve given all the power away to people who won’t always say the right thing or even know what to say at all when I need it or want it. This is something I know I have to be active in prayer about, a topic so sensitive that I have to take it God in prayer because if I don’t it becomes crippling. I mean, my mind starts racing, I start overthinking and overanalyzing what I said or didn’t say, what other people said or didn’t say, and it’s just a never-ending spiral of just toxic and negative thinking. I have to do a better job of asking the Lord to renew my mind, to cease without praying.

Because what good is any of it if the Lord isn’t pleased?

I continue to pray for conviction in the area of people pleasing, that the Lord would allow me to see myself the way He sees me - WHOLE, CAPABLE, & WORTHY by Him and Him alone. I believe that I will be completely set free and healed from people pleasing. I have to keep putting in the work and doing my part in it.