No Lack Here

Psalm 23:1 (NIV), “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.”

For the last week or so, I have been reflecting on my personal finances for the last year and a half. I have been thinking about how much I didn’t realize that I made money an idol in my life. Like that’s a hard thing to admit. But, honestly admitting making anything an idol outside of the Father is a hard thing to say out loud. I also didn’t realize that I even let it control my giving in church … until my account hit $0.

I’ve high-key been operating from a poverty mindset, from a place of lack — that is due to the pedestal that I’ve placed my money on. Never wanting to go without, never wanting to spend my money on things that at times I did need (i.e. new clothes for myself or just taking some time to take care of the things I needed)

My account hit $0 last year and not that it “matters”, but I had to ask my husband for $100 to hold me over until my next paycheck. And how did I get to a zero balance might you ask? Well on top of spending here and there, I was giving in my church from an unpure place. The place I was giving from was a, “Well if I don’t give, I’m going to miss out on something from God.” — how manipulative is that right? I’m not afraid to admit it because I believe that God is still trying to work that thing out of me and I’m desperately wanting to surrender it to him because this is not a good place and headspace to be in. It’s been feeling like a roller coaster that goes up and down, it ebbs and flows and I just want some consistency in this particular place + I want freedom.

To be honest, it wasn’t the first time I had heard something like this: operating from a place of lack, having a poverty mindset, etc.

God has always provided for me and my family + he’s always sustained us and carried us, and I’m no stranger to knowing that. So how can I continue to operate from this particular place when I know that I lack nothing from the Good Shepherd? Well because I haven’t sat with this verse … until now … I haven’t fully allowed God to lead me, to lead my finances. I’ve been trying to control it all, or at least what I can, with little to no help from Him.

I stumbled across a Threads post that talked about if our desire for money amongst other material things is greater than our desire for God, then we will always operate from a place of lack. I turned this particular thread over and over in my mind. If my desire for money is greater than my desire for God then I’ll never be satisfied with what God can give me — that’s eternal life first and foremost, along with an abundance of other things. That’s all of the intangible things that mean so much more in this life than the material and tangible things that we are constantly chasing after. Chasing after all these things puts distance between us and the Father. That gap continues to widen as our affections for the things of this world continue to tug and tug. Dare I say that some of that tugging is willingly? We don’t always have to be dragged kicking and screaming, sometimes we go willingly.

The noun definition of lack is “the state of being without or not having enough of something.” The verb definition of lack is “to be without or deficient in.” The noun definition of lack, specifically “not having enough of something” is where I have found myself on and off this last year and a half. I had truly believed and basically adopted the mindset that monetarily I didn’t have enough, which is crazy talk, and I’ve spoken a word curse over myself that needs to be not only renounced but repentance is required of me… because remember life and death are in the power of the tongue.

The Holy Spirit immediately dropped Psalm 23:1 in my spirit because I needed to know and trust that God will always provide for me and that he will always make sure I have everything I need. After all, everything I need or could ever want is found in Him anyway. In this moment I am also reminded of the Israelites' journey to the Promised Land and how they took for granted God’s provision. Holding on to the manna that rained down from heaven longer than they were instructed to. I’m not afraid to admit that I too, have held onto my money longer than I needed to in fear of not having enough and being able to spend as I want and how I want.

I’m confident that God is doing a good work in me though, and I’m determined to do my part in it. I’m thankful for the awareness that God has given me, the gentle nudges of the Holy Spirit that show me this place of lack that I’ve been operating out of. I no longer want to be gripped by this thing, I no longer want to have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) when it comes to my generosity, and how dare I try to manipulate God’s blessings and favor in my life? When I sit and think about all of the great and wonderful things that God has indeed blessed me with because he legit just favored me about two weeks specifically on my job. So how could I continue to operate from this place?!

Maybe the deficit that you are operating out of is something different … but are you aware of it? If not, take some time to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it to you. Maybe deep down you already know what it is. It’s time for us to realize that we lack nothing with the Father, tangible or intangible.

Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV), “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”